Gone

I had an interesting conversation with a friend.  He said, remember when you said, "You remember when you said you just like to go."  I always forget why it feels so good to be single.  I can never understand for the life of me why single is the way to be.  And he hit the nail on the head today.  The fact that a person like me, who rarely makes plans, but will just put down a dish of food for Casey and go away for a weekend, will just GO!!!!  That is my life.  To give myself a little credit.  Things that tend to be cheaper such as plane tickets or cruises I will book in advance.  But weekend excursions, well it best be said, the Continental United States needs to be ready because here I come.  I just love to be gone.  I am the traveler that my mom was and always wanted to be. 

Countless times, I have had argument with some man at the time of the following issues:

Why I disappeared for a whole weekend?
Who I was with for a whole week?
Why I left?
How come I didn't invite him?
Did you sleep with him???!!!
My personal favorite, "When you went home who did you see?"

 

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!  This list goes on.  I  hate having these arguments.  I honestly have no answer for him as to why he was not my companion.  I kind of look at him dumbfounded asking myself, "Why wouldn't I go somewhere by myself, and why would I ask you to go with me?"  And what the %^*( kind of question is that to ask me?  Please don't get me wrong.  I am a proponent of couple related excursions.  I would like nothing more to go around the world with my new boo...or potential boo or whoever it may be.  But it just never happens like that.  The things I like to do, he has no interest. 

Wait...that is a lie!!!

The reason I go by myself is because it is easy.  I don't have to worry about someone else getting bored with the things I like to do.  I don't have to sit and entertain some guy when all I really want to do is sleep.  I can leave the hotel anytime I want to instead of waking up at the butt crack of dawn to beat traffic.  I can go visit art museums, sex shops, Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, malls, and whatever else I want without worrying about the opposite sex pushing me to leave or pulling me to stay.  I have the freedom to stay somewhere as long as I like.  I can spend as much or as little money as I want and not have to worry if the man can afford it.  Because let's be honest on this one particular point...for some reason men don't like to spend money on the finer things or the practical things.  For example, though I live two hours from Vegas, this does not mean I want to drive to Vegas for a Cirque du Solelil Show and then drive all the way back in the same night.  WHY????  There are numerous reasons.  The main one is, I will probably be intoxicated the from the time of arrival until the end of the show.  Secondly, because it's Vegas.  There is always great food, great accomodations, great everything.  So no mister, I am not doing a roundtrip to Vegas in one day.  So I will continue to travel alone until I can find someone bearable who will do the things I would like to do.  Now, I no that relationships go both ways.  And I guess I am not really the person to take on vacations because I have rarely been invited by a man to join him on so much as a day trip.  So it is what it is.

So what have I gone and gotten myself into.  There's so much.  I think one thing my friends can count on me for is spontaneity.  When I do travel with someone and want a friend, I will just ask one to go to some place.  The latest excursion will be a half marathon in Orlando.  My bestie, Danielle is joining me for this.  Yea, I thought about doing it alone, but I remembered that 5K I did.  Though it was for a good cause, I was rather lonely crossing that finish line and no one to hug.  Anyway, yes, Danielle will be joining me for this grueling 13 mile trek around Disney World.  And then what.  Well to reward myself for sitting for a year in Afghanistan staring at a computer screen, supposedly aiding the war on terrorism, I am going on a cruise.  OoOoOh one might say.  Who are you going with you are probably wondering?  NO ONE!!!!  I said it, that's right.  I am going by myself.  After months of trying to decide if I wanted to wonder around Europe again by myself, or trek up the Inca Trail I decided to go on a cruise.  Why am I going by myself.  Because as much as I would love to share my post deployment fun with someone...my homies from school or childhood can't go for various reason.  Then my civilian friends they have to get off work, and I have to deal with the whole, well I have vacation days and I already had them planned out.  Then there is the whole, OMG I though cruises were cheap.  I would rather just avoid all of that rejection and let down and just go by myself.  So sorry, if I didn't tell you, but I am going on a cruise...by myself.  Get over it.  To all my friends who are mad because I didn't ask, I am sorry.  To those of you who I did ask and you couldn't give me a straight answer...blame yourself. 

Which brings me to the next subject.  I love my friends.  They have been my cornerstone for a lot of things.  The death of my mother, my secret mental breakdowns where I cry endlessly for no reason.  The list goes on.  However, the same way you have your own agenda, I have my own timeline to keep.  So don't get mad at me for wanting to do something different.