Duality of Self

I will never understand what is the criteria for movies to be considered Oscar worthy.  I saw Precious, and I was thoroughly moved.  I mean I left the theatre thanking God for my momma and her prudeness.  So when I saw Black Swan, and I am still trying to understand all the hype.  I had to read a NY Times review to understand the suspense and horror of it all, because I was scared at all.  I was really wondering when all the crazy stuff was going to happen.  Of course the crazy stuff happened inside her, and at the end, I was just left a little weirded out versus, terrified of going to sleep. 

However, what I did find interesting was the battle of self in the movie.  Every person goes through this battle.  And for the most part, religion keeps people in check.  The threat of hell basically puts a person carnal human nature in check and tell him or her to act good.  The main theme throughout the movie "Black Swan," is the Apollonian vs Dionysus's conflict.  Now in Greek mythology there really is no conflict between the two Greek mythological brothers, they just represent to different people.  Apollonian is a direct reflection of order and Dionysus is a direct reflection of chaos.  Now for the most part, most people, including myself, wish that we could all live in that world of chaos, where we virtually do what we want.  I have even told men, that I am going to do what I want so forget you.  The Dionysus character is a representation of life's every desires, from food, to money, to expensive clothes that you know that you don't need.  The Apollo character is the complete opposite.  Apollo's representation in life is that of a Puritan.  God keeps a person in check, and he does it through the many rules and regulations in the Bible.  Now don't get me wrong, I go back to the Good Book everyday, trying to find meaning out of this life, as well as trying to figure out my next step, do I call him, do I text him, do I quit the Army, do I give up all my friends and family to help poor little babies in third world countries. 

What I am getting at is, every human being has characteristics of both Apollo and Dionysus.  Everybody wants to feed into his or her carnal urges.  These carnal urges are the reason why there are STD's, women breaking windows, obesity, and people disgusting habit of feeding into the fashion's worlds of what is hot and what is not.  Is there anything wrong with indulging and doing what you want. In my opinion...NO!!!  Doing what I want has led me to experience a couple of the seven wonders of the world.  However, doing what I want has also led to a lot of heartbreak, anger, and empty bank accounts. 

So what is the answer, it seems the answer is just simply maintain a healthy balance of both worlds.  Do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt yourself, or others.  Does that mean having sex with whomever or whatever you want.  Technically yes, as long as you don't string people along and don't have any type of STD.  As the military tells you, do what your pockets can afford. 

Love ya